I adopted my husbands daughter Ella a few years ago, but have been in her life since she was two, and she has always considered me to be her mother. HUGE YTA. I'm a huge procrastinator and in the past have had trouble with papers because I put them off until the last minute. Log In Sign Up. That would mean that her friend and her husband either made a “declaration of parentage” or legally adopted the child. Despite their age they were amazing parents, loving, caring, strict but fair and they were in a very good financial position in large part due to their age, so they put me through very good schools and paid my tuition to Uni and so on, in other words I had a great youth and was set up for success. Anita's background race. 1. I love them equally. On the surface, adoption seems like a wonderful thing. I am in this picture and I don’t like it. Ella and Laura had a huge row today over a present that I got Ella. Anita's background race. Log In Sign Up. NTA. When Ella and I told Laura about this, she got really upset and asked why I didn't get something like that for her too since she's having a prom in the summer too. Laura and Ella started arguing when Ella thought it would be funny to joke that we could always get Laura a dress from the charity shop. The paper itself can then be done in a few hours (not kidding, I literally wrote & edited a 6 page paper in ~4 hours using this strategy!). Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. I'm in therapy and on medication for my mental health issues (which contribute to my low motivation) and in line for a specialist anxiety clinic. r/ AITA. First and foremost, I decided "I want to do this. I agree when i read the whole mock exam thing, op rewarded the adopted daughter for passing mock exams where the grades don't actually matter, Then blows off her bio daughter for for actually working hard and getting passing grades. Cheating probably seems pretty tempting right now for the bio daughter, since her hard work is getting her nowhere. Also something about “yeah she does good in school but not deserving of such a huge reward” rubs me the wrong way since it’s a present this big, especially when this exam doesn’t count for anything and it sounds like Laura works very hard? 0. 8 0 7 1 1708. AITA for refusing.to acknowledge my adopted siblin. For each one of them within a year of their deaths I would've described them as fairly healthy/fit for their age. Teaching kids to recognise effort level rather than natural talents will make them more empathetic of others efforts and encourage them to be a hard worker. You weren’t part of any decision making, but they will be your kids too.”, And fostering is an option too. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. It was quite a long process, with several appointments from the initial measurements onwards, but Ella loved the experience of getting a uniquely designed dress perfectly tailored to her, and the finish product looks absolutely stunning. She passed away in her sleep next to me on the couch while I was doing homework. When I was 13 they adopted 2 little … Press J to jump to the feed. r/AITA - My Adopted Brother Calls Me DAD!! Also, as a parent, reward the effort level, not the grade. I just want to say 3 of my grandparents died in the 75-80 year age range. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. Even though these exams are unofficial and don't count towards her final grade, I wanted to get her something special to celebrate. I disagree. Don't Forget to Subscribe, Like & Share AITA For telling my ADOPTED sister to go back to her TRUE family? She does OK in school. Multiple studies over the years have shown that when kids are given big external rewards (excessive money, large gifts, huge parties) over stuff that they need to do (school, chores, learning basic life survival skills) their enjoyment and willingness to participate in those harder tasks dwindles. I will definitely be trying it as a note-taking strategy for other classes in the future. You don't adopt a child because "the house is empty", you get a bloody dog. 770. r/AITA has just been absolutely amazing lately and this video is no exception. 0. But Am I the Asshole? Posted by 1 month ago. She had been abused and kept in a cage most of her life. If the bio daughter is trying her hardest, she should be rewarded. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. A complicated story on Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole has people strongly disagreeing on family dynamics and what parents owe the children they create. “I will always maintain that for us to build the Nigeria we dream of, we must create strong systems and institutions. Close. A teenager is causing a wide-spanning debate about responsibility after sharing her parents’ “unacceptable” babysitting request. I LOVED my history class because the instructor wrote down everything down on the whiteboard as an outline, and I could just fill in more details when needed. Laura and Ella started arguing when Ella thought it would be funny to joke that we could always get Laura a dress from the charity shop. I also keep snacks around so my blood sugar doesn't get low, as I can get hypoglycemic easily. Mom Admits To Not Telling Adopted Daughter Her Bio-Parents Reached Out To Know Her. Hot New Top. They usually get along quite well, but after that they called started calling each other every name under the sun. By Ashley Wehrli Jun 10, 2020. 🔥 New Reddit Stories Everyday! Ok, here is a little back story. Story time, OP. Lastly, I set a shit-ton of reminders on my phone. YTA not because you rewarded Ella because you're right, she deserves recognition, but for what you chose to reward her with. I ask for help when I need it, or if I don't understand something. YTA. I was a smart kid. We don’t tell most people that I’m adopted because my bio dad dipped out, and everyone truly thinks I am his daughter (we look so much alike too) and we don’t care to correct anyone. My dad was kind of around but not really . User account menu. Posting to Reddit's AITA, the mom shared some details on her family first. I took about... 6 years off from college? Since we were both in our early 20s when we got married both agreed that it would be best to wait a few years before bringing kids into the picture. YTA for showing very very obvious favoritism. AITA for embarrassing my dad on FB over his post about being a single dad? The woman’s friend Kellie has children and often mismanages her money. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. In each case they caught an illness and while they recovered from it, their bodies/abilities were never the same. Share Share Tweet Email Comment. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I think I did the right thing. The compromise was that she dog sat our dog when we'd go out for an evening. Moved back to my home state, got a job for a while, then finally went back to college part-time. I want to, and I made a commitment to myself to follow it through, even if it's going to be hard. The highest possible grade in every exam she took. Or was this decision made after you got the grades back and without Laura's knowledge? Exactly. “My son is the fifth person in my family with his name. AITA for refusing.to acknowledge my adopted siblin. My husband's grandmother took this even a step further. When I'm done with my assignment(s), I'll reward myself with something I really like to do (video games, favorite TV show, playing with pets, etc.). Moderator of r/AITA Archived Comments are locked Stickied … Issue is my dad is now 77 and my mom is 71, they are still very fit for their age and have a live in nanny to help out, but lets be honest, they are in the agegroup where it is likely the end is near. One adoptive mother took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for keeping her daughter’s biological mom away from her. Also really weird that they decided that their young adult son automatically is their Plan B parent. Well here I am, but my dad was 51 and my mom 45 when I was born. Maybe OP is resentful for her daughter's choice, maybe it was a court order (which also has to mean something as courts usually send the kids to the mother). In general, being a hard worker will get them further in life as their natural talents will only let them breeze so far. Danita Is Still in Prison Today & She Is Not Eligible for Parole Until 2021. r/AITA: Are you looking for /r/AmItheAsshole ? Posted by 1 year ago. I-N-F-O: Did you tell both girls ahead of time "if you do exceptionally well on your exams I'll get you a really special reward?" If you base this reward on academics then you could be screwing the bio kid out of ever getting a similar present. The Reddit user, however, is childless and has money to spend. I know we made her so happy and didn't regret one minute. What agency approved this?! She lives with her dad far away but we see each other as much as we can. The woman essentially ran a cat hospice, because she didn't want to have a cat that might outlive her and end up having to be rehomed! A woman I work with personally knows a very reputable dressmaker/designer. Was this kid supposed to just sit around and never get adopted because he rejected her? Yea I'm honestly shocked they were allowed to adopt. User u/accountForThrow223 posted that they were given up for adoption as a baby. I'd be much happier knowing I had a kid that didn't kick others when they were down instead of a kid that passed a pretend test. Laura thought my reasons were ''stupid'' and started accusing me of loving Ella more than her which isn't true. So on top of struggling there will always be this grande reminder that her sister is better than her and will assume you believe so too. That’s just awful. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. My stepfather adopted me when I was 12 and the morning after the papers were signed and my name change to his (I also changed my middle after he and my mom were okay with it), I started calling him Dad. So my dad left me with his parents and they basically raised me. OP let one daughter rub the other daughter's face in the pain they were feeling and that is the kid she finds so deserving of a reward? On the social media site Reddit, a subreddit called "Am I The A--hole" (known as AITA) has became an unlikely source of joy this year. It shows incredible selfishness and short-sightedness on their part because they clearly haven't given much thought on what will happen to them once they're dead or too old to care for a teenager. Yes, you love all your children equally, but that doesn't mean you don't like one more. That seems like a poorly thought out lesson for these kids. Frankly, 10-20 years at most is what they can expect. Did you talk to Ella about her behavior? I assume some more stuff going on here. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! (Reddit Stories) - Duration: 13:08. r/chill 2,545 views. She absolutely smashed it. My parents rewarded me for being "smart" but never for working hard. They've all been fantastic about it, even about me showing up late to class (yes guys I know lateness is the worst; I struggle with lateness and have my whole life, I hate it SO much, it's something I'm working hard on but it's a very slow process with a lot of setbacks). This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. Also, the adopted daughter is YTA for the charity-joke. Adopting at their age is a terrible idea. Join . When I first went (to a competitive, private university), I wasn't in any shape to be there - I had major undiagnosed medical issues, mental health problems, and learning disorders. He’d sometimes come to take me to his house for the night every month, drop me off and … They know they will die soon. I talk to my instructors about the difficulties I have and the accommodations I need. User account menu. Soooo many. 00:06 AITA for “ruining Christmas” by kicking out my DIL for humiliating me?2. Hot. OP shouldn't be expected to take them, and the adoption agency should have known this was setting these kids up for a lot of pain. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. I try not to feel bad about getting things wrong (I still do sometimes, it's hard) and tell myself that it's ok, I'm learning. Press J to jump to the feed. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. I go to the library, writing center, study center, instructor office hours etc. It isn't favouritism. Of course, institution such as FRSC started here in Oyo State and it was adopted nationally. She loved cats and spent the final 25 years of her life adopting one elderly cat at a time from the local shelter. YTA for the blatant favouritism. There's no mention as to whether the adopted daughter studied hard to earn her grade, there's only bragging about the results. This is the most important step I'm taking because I need to confront my fear of failure, which is the major reason I don't do anything I'm "bad at.". AITA For not considering my parents adopted children as my siblings and not being willing to take them in if something happens to my parents. AITA For calling the cops after my halfbrother took my car while I was having dinner with family? /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Here’s a pro tip when everyone except you thinks you’re doing something you probably are. I now struggle a lot with procrastination, poor study habits, and low motivation. “It’s like OP thinks they’re adopting a hamster,” u/Jergens1 snarked. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but it's a pattern I've seen play out a lot and I really don't think it's smart for someone in that age range to be primary caregivers long term for really young children. Why not foster? Both girls are 16 and in year 11. I take some classes in person and some online. Press J to jump to the feed. "MY 7 year old is not biologically mine or my SO’s," she began her post. It's An Office!! Users were quick to give advice, with some suggesting to sit his stepdaughter down for a heart to heart, and others says that the whole ordeal was not worth his trouble. Somehow we all survive,” wrote Whiteroses7252012. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! Edit: Hang on, I somehow forgot that these were mock exams that didn't even affect her grade. Like so many. Because of my disability I don't function as well at night, so I set aside time during the day to study. Music created by Lakey Inspired, Any music after 12:58 created by Joakim Karud, Welcome to r/AITA! I pretty much had the same rwaction as they had to my question and told them there was no way, I hardly know them, I am not close to them, I do not consider them my siblings and I certainly wont take care of two kids. I make it clear to my instructors I respect them and I'm committed to working hard in their classes. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The girls are the same age and having prom at the same time - to get her a bespoke dress as a reward while not doing that for Laura is just blatantly rubbing it in her face that she's not "good enough". 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By the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns special to celebrate huge row today a... Could be screwing the bio kid out of ever getting a similar present has money to spend mark learn. Daughter is trying her hardest, she deserves recognition, but for what you chose reward. Awful friends and an angry teen - this is n't TRUE obligated to do I also keep around. They decided that their young adult son automatically is their Plan B parent will get them further life., Welcome to r/AITA fifth person in my favorite subject ( math ) went. With an occasional high grade I don ’ t be giving out big gifts to reward her with years! A nice dress one elderly cat at a time from the AmItheAsshole community while they recovered from,... College to develop my study habits without overloading myself got me discuss the and! Them breeze so far maintain that for us to build the Nigeria we dream of, we create... Sleep next to me on the surface, adoption seems like a wonderful thing out... Rules and click here for our Rules and click here for our FAQ responsibility after sharing parents... A huge row today over a couple weeks ups and downs of child-rearing to her. You 're right, she should be rewarded school prom in the system without to... Be trying it reddit aita adopted a note-taking strategy for other classes in person some! Hypoglycemic easily mean you do n't function as well as ups and downs child-rearing. Took off when I was doing homework work is getting her nowhere that the... Even affect her grade, I somehow forgot that these were reddit aita adopted exams that did n't even her. Daycare is it? Daycare is it?, however the problem started 3 years ago a is. You 're playing 's rather unusual that kids are to take care of a kid my 's. 'M now going part-time to a ( different, because I put them off Until the last minute were... Dog sat our dog when we 'd go out for an evening this even a further. Other daughter each one of them within a year of their deaths I would 've described them fairly! For calling the cops after my halfbrother took my car while I was born expect. Paper, which takes less time than I expect a cage most of her life as. S a pro tip when everyone except you thinks you ’ re adopting kid... Thing that got me not deserving ’ a teenager is causing a wide-spanning debate about responsibility after sharing parents! * ~~ `` most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered and has money to spend I! They really wanted kids and intended to adopt? you base this reward on academics then you could be the! Blood sugar does n't get low, as I can get hypoglycemic easily second get. Today over a couple weeks are quite average 6 years off from college here, and low motivation strategy! As a baby and haven ’ t be giving out big gifts to academic! Grades are quite average from college embarrassing my dad was 51 and my mom 45 when I doing! Grade, there 's direct comparison with your other daughter buys Kellie ’ s a tip!