But they don't realize that the elimination of where they came from is not really going to help them in the long run." 7. Lot of therapy too. It was 40 years ago at this time when I entered college as a freshman in the first semester. It’s a day that many adoptive parents and their children celebrate the day they became a family. We both initiated it and he kept asking me if I was okay, not because he thought I was distressed but because he wanted me to know that we could stop at any point. As a single career woman, adopting a child was surprisingly easy - but Madeline Jones didn't anticipate just how abandoned she would go … In essence, I was told that I was special. I would go to him for this, but my brother isn't all there. All of those behaviors are the cat’s way of saying, “I’m lonely, I’m bored, I’m scared, and doing these things helps me feel better.” What these behaviors are not is revenge for your absence. You can build your own family by choosing to surround yourself with people who treat you well and understand you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My bio sister who was adopted with me suffered from RAD, which made my early and teen adoptive years very difficult. Divorce What to Do About Deep Loneliness Post-Divorce Three tools to push through the pain and get on the other side. I feel like I have just built a wall around myself and I hate it and I feel so alone all the time. But it doesn’t change the fact that we feel crap. Adopted and fully understand. That was really cool but gave me more questions than answers. Toggle navigation Login. Reply. I don’t like life much anymore. I'm going to be real with you all. Birthfather (30m) here, separated from pregnant birthmother (26f). Adoptees can be successful, married to an amazing spouse with beautiful children and still feel lonely. I'm having a bad day and its all I can think about. I had an expat childhood, living in Europe and the US. It doesn't matter where you came from or how you came into the world, it's all about where you go, what you do and how you affect other people in your life. It’s hard for me to function when I feel like there isn’t much for me to do here but watch. She has vertigo, and cannot leave home on her own. First, I'm always hopeful to hear ways to help an adoptee feel less alone/isolated/etc., as a new parent myself. I was living completely alone for the first time. Feeling Alone And Confused - Adoptee Support. You lose the person that gave life to you. Do not post profiles for potential adoptive parents. As a guy, you will never find yourself alone (unless you choose to have some alone time for a while) when are able to make women feel attracted and turned on by how you interact with them. This has affected my life as well. I'm so happy and excited ... a play date ahead of December 25 so Lilly-Grace can get to know her "adopted family ... even people who have no children. We have no blood relation. You will be immediately banned. I was lucky enough to have met some of my birth family. Intrusive. We do not allow self-promotion on this subreddit. They had the option of saying no I don't want this child but they made a choice that you were the one they wanted. I was told that I was wanted by them and they had to wait for me for six years. I’m curious, given the age gap and the perceived power dynamic, did you feel forced or coerced at all? Most adopted people have the gift of knowing that your parents chose you. I know everyone who is adopted does not have this same experience, but I feel that if I had come to accept that I did not belong earlier, it would have been far less painful. “Gotcha Day.” i Homecoming. I was adopted into a family where I was an only child. I'm Adopted I’m Adopted is a global online community established in July 2015 by Russian-New Zealand Adoptee, Alex Gilbert. Feelings of loneliness and abandonment are very very common in adopted people. I realize it’s super hard for me to come out to friends and tell others how I feel. I adopted two sisters when they were 4 months old last year. My parents told me they didn’t adopt me, but chose me. I absolutely hated living alone, and I desperately wanted to feel less isolated. “Behavioral stimulation is just as important for cats as it is for dogs – maybe even more so since many cats only have you and the world you create for them inside your home,” writes Dr. Gary … How old are you? This community welcomes all points of view. How to adopt without race playing a role in your decision? Other people who are adopted do you feel the same? How does it feel to be adopted page guidelines: Updated January 2020. They have a fragile relationship that’s lasted far too long. Fundraisers of any kind are not permitted and will be removed. Growing up I resented both my birth and adoptive families and at times even blamed myself for how I was feeling. https://soundcloud.com/lil-soda-boilil soda boi - i'm so alone (lost) (prod. Being alone is not new to Ms. Johnson, who said her life has not been affected much by the pandemic: “I’m in the house all the time,” she said. Supplied. ‘Why Am I Feeling Alienated from Everyone?’ 4 Possible Causes. Alone Sayings and Quotes. [–]kafkascockroachgrace [score hidden] 5 hours ago (0 children), [–]crxdc0113Click me to edit flair! are the people in my life who really matter. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, adopted family divorcee, adopted by birth mom. Even more, when you realize that you’re not alone in your loneliness, you’ll feel less lonely. For me, it was a time I realized I did not fit with them, and it was extremely painful to accept that I would never really be a part of a family. That is, you biological mother. rondocheek) Advertisement As a result of being estranged, I developed a network of friends through Stand Alone. But we all know there are days where you could be standing in a room of family and friends and feel absolutely alone. I found my birth family n everything hurts more now. It was a closed adoption so I know nothing but I did recently get a DNA test which told me where my ancestors are from. It got better as I got older and matured. My experience is not unique, but it is important. I feel alone.. Nobody in my family understands. Beautiful...This is just such a great response. Solitude doesn't have to equal loneliness. Making sense of it all can be rough and not having any birth family around can make you feel that much more alone. I’m afraid to share things with them or express my emotions. Facts About the Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons, An Introduction to Searching for Your Birth Relatives - PDF, AICAN - Australian Intercountry Adoption Network. I’m losing ground. I used to enjoy being alone but after growing up, it feels like social acceptance is such a necessity, and I’m feeling really lost, unhappy and alone. Adoption Day. The dilemma I am 51 and feel alone and unsettled.Although I have lived in the UK for 20 years, it has never really been "home". seeking a copy of your original birth certificate, struggling with issues related to being a transracial or transnational adoptee. It was the time in my life I was starting to become and adult and trying to figure out who I was and where I fit. I’m told I’m super sensitive and I am but I try so hard to make sure my family knows how much I love them and I practice what I preach but feel I am taken advantage of and it’s very hurtful and depressing. Login. I still go through moments of feeling alone or abandoned. “I’m fine.” “‘I’m fine’ usually covers a lot.” — Christine P. “‘I’m fine.’ ‘I’m just a mess, I’ll be OK.’ Literally almost anytime I say stuff like that it’s really that I’m feeling overwhelmingly lonely or just down. Cats are sophisticated and smart, but they’re not capable of that kind of emotional leap. I'm adopted and so is my brother. ... "The article itself really helped. If you have questions as to whether or not your post will be considered self-promotion please message the mod team via modmail I still have a long way until I can get all the information on my birth mom. Try talking to someone, anyone you feel comfortable with, it may help. 7. It did get better for me though. And as one WACAP adoptee shares here, it’s also a day that can bring more to the surface. Try to be understanding if you didn’t find out until later in life. I feel alone sometimes. My adoptive parents, who were and are wonderful supportive people, once told me "No matter how much you explain to us what you have felt, we will never be able to fully understand because we were not adopted ourselves. … and join one of thousands of communities. Well I’m not alone in my life i have a great family and friends who really love me even i have a perfect and caring boyfriend but always i feel something is missing in my hurt i feel something is not right here.yes there is a punch of people around me and i pretend to be happy but i feel alone in myself.always i think I’m different from all this people.well yes I’m a deep thinker feel … Adopting a child alone is tougher than I ever imagined . This may feel uncomfortable at first, and you might have to try several different clubs or organizations before you find one where you feel more at home. By the time you get home at night, you’ll feel tired and less alone because you’ve spent the day meaningfully connecting with others. I'm 30 and still feel this way sometimes. The same way or sometimes not at all. I'm older, with my own kids now, but I remember being a teenager and feeling out of place. I go home. I had no friends and very little family. Upload video. Here are ten of the ten thousand things adoptees want the world to know. Soliciting our users for data or information for research and projects is not permitted. I also know my birth mother had to make probably the hardest and most selfless decision of her life by putting me up for adoption. “ Anne Heffron, who'd been adopted at ten weeks old, embarked on a three-month Adoption can be tricky. I usually do Thanksgiving with members of my adopted family here in ... Do I feel sad this ... it’s painful to be alone when you’re an extrovert. Cat’s worry like we do and can feel abandoned and increasingly nervous the longer we’re away. You are experiencing varents of "Fear of Rejection" many of us have. Hey everyone, I (18f) have been adopted by my family since I was 1 year old. I'm Sad and I Feel So Alone is a popular song by Heather June | Create your own TikTok videos with the I'm Sad and I Feel So Alone song and explore 2 videos made by new and popular creators. I don't know how you've managed to live with the kind of pain and emptiness I'm now feeling. After 5 years of worrying constantly and jumping out of my skin every time the phone rings, I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I am adopted and am here to listen if you want. Soliciting babies from women considering adoption is absolutely forbidden. I have a very stressful life and feel so used and unloved and have no one in the world to turn to. I still don't feel 'comfortable' around portions of my family, but I love them. Maybe not entirely, it may take work, but it will not be as confusing nor as terrifying as it can initially seem. before posting. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. I didn't find out I was adopted until I was in my 20s, but I can tell you that I felt alone for a while, like everyone knew and they were keeping this big joke from me. I’m alone. Brain structure and chemistry; It may sound surprising, but some people’s brains are wired for a feeling of detachment.While there may be many different causes associated with brain structure, we will focus on the most common one. instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thornrxse/Buy my project files here:https://payhip.com/b/1jwgTV Shows/ Movies used:- Euphoria- To the bone- … 3. I did this lyric video because someone requested it. Anyone out there adopted and willing to talk to me about this? Both of my parents are incredibly private people. I don't want you to discount your feelings but just know you are not alone. The dilemma I am a 50-year-old man, adopted at birth.I left it to two years ago to trace my natural mother (largely because of guilt that it could be construed as a betrayal of my adoptive parents). Jasmine. ... "I don't feel alone with this issue! I feel bad doing it, I'm hoping he will quit after a couple of weeks of this method. I'm the author of four books. I’m really not interested in anything. I’m afraid to share things with them or express my emotions. One of the first things people often say to me when they find out I’m adopted is, “That’s so awesome!” While I appreciate the sentiment, it can be hard to then explain why it doesn’t always feel so awesome. If you don't mind me asking. Consider reddit's policy on posting personal information when posting about seeking your biological family. Finding the strength to leave seemed an impossible feat.

Yes, I know that it seems obvious. I'm realizing how much life has changed. I'm pretty shy and don't make friends easily. I was sick, depressed, weak, and all alone. New Delhi: India should “not feel alone” in its strategy to push back and stand up against an assertive “Chinese Communist Party” even as countries around the world are beginning to see the “threat posed by the Marxist-Leninist ideology”, US Secretary of State Michael R. Pompeo told ThePrint’s Editor-in-Chief Shekhar … He made sure I wanted to do it. The loneliness will pass, trust me. For a minor offense like me feeling ignored, (huge trigger to me) will set off a firestorm where I’m 0-100 in 2.5 seconds. I’m adopted, and I’ve never been made to feel like an outsider. I go to work. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Nobody in my family understands. The adoption was through a private agency, which … When I left, I’d have absolutely nothing. The A.V. When you are adopted (closed adoption) you lose your ancestral/ethnic identity (e.g., name, language, religion). October 29, 2015 at 5:00 pm. I am well adjusted in my home and love my family more than anything, but there is still that feeling that I get sometimes when I'm hanging out with my family that makes me feel as if this isn't all mine and that I'm just an outsider. Even into adulthood I wanted others to understand. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and gain an understanding. You'll be just fine =). But children. And I don't want to be alone, but I think I'm pushing people away. If an adopted person feels rejected because of these actions, it’s understandable–and exactly the same thing if the shoe were on the opposite foot–say, if the first mother said she was made to feel “gutted” “betrayed” or some other loaded term because the adoptee said she wanted her father’s name and … Alone Lyrics: If I / If I / Said he tried to phone me, but I never have time / He said that I never listen, but I don't even try / I got a new place in Cali, but I'm gone every night / So I fill Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Now I'm dancing It's like a dream No end and no beginning You're here with me it's like a dream Let the choir sing When you call my name it's like a little prayer I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the midnight hour I can feel your power Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there When you call my name it's like a little … As children age, they may feel a sense of alienation from their heritage. I am a little jealous that you are realizing this at your age!! I feel so lost and alone; I have absolutely no family. 2. Toggle navigation Login. But this week I adopted … Posted by 7 years ago. I'm adopted and I don't feel loved what do I do? I would go to him for this, but my brother isn't all there. People born of their parents can't say that. I can now go on knowing there are others out there like me and I'm not alone… How does it feel to be adopted page guidelines: Updated January 2020. Hey everyone, I (18f) have been adopted by my family since I was 1 year old. For You Following. Learn all about us and our incredible team over at … Listen, adoption is usually not that pleasant of an experience for anyone involved, except maybe the adopted parents. The purpose of this page is to create a space for adoptees to share how it feels to be adopted. Mutual-Consent Adoption Reunion Registries: International Soundex Reunion Registry - free, US & International, large and active since 1975, AICAN - Australian Intercountry Adoption Network - has a worldwide search registry, California Adoption Reunion Registry - free, Canadian Adoptees Registry - searchable registry for Canadian adoptees, FindMyFamily.org - U.S. reunion registry, free, The Worldwide Adoption Reunion Site - free registration, some features require subscription. Join; Login It may not sound like much but it helped. if some one out there is going thru the same thing I'm here too use the following search parameters to narrow your results: r/Adoption welcomes all members of the adoption triad: adoptive families, birth families, and adoptees. I'm crying constantly and have become really anxious about everything in my life. The woman that you are genetically linked with. I’m an adult adoptee and pretty much everything on … Though as I got older I realized that I am not as close to my family as I thought. Shedding light on her feelings of joy and loss, Emily tells an important story… TikTok. Michtou on November 26, 2018: I don't usually like to recommend this book because I can't even finish it, but it is eye opening and will help you figure some things out. I realize it’s super hard for me to come out to friends and tell others how I feel. I want to be honest about my feelings, and talking to you about them is helpful." Genealogical love is not necessarily any stronger than the love of those who actively decide to love you. Archived. So yeah.. It’s surreal when the time come to see them I get almost nervous. What to say to my biological son after adoption of a child? Club Deadspin While providing information about how to evaluate an agency is allowed, recommending or discussing specific agencies is not permitted and such comments will be removed. I’m adopted and I don’t feel close to my family (self.Adoption). I know I'm not because my family and I are really close, but that feeling is always there. I feel very alone and like I don’t belong here. i feel so alone - General Adoption Issues. It is not safe to look for a family through an anonymous forum. I also adopted a cat (called Cheeky), who helped me to feel safe, secure and settled. Join; Login We have no blood relation. If you need to vent send me a PM, but it is awkward at a time when everything is awkward. Adoption is not natural. I’ve wondered for several years if I could be an alien, but I have a rather good memory, and can remember back to my childhood. I feel so alone.... - Adoptee Support. I feel oddly different to even my own boys. Try telling your adopted parents, "I'm feeling strong emotions about being adopted, but please don't feel hurt that I'm sharing them with you. Links to blogs or vlogs are not permitted and will be removed based on moderator discretion. Though as I got older I realized that I am not as close to my family as I thought. This has affected my life as well. The feelings of loneliness stem from the separation of a child and his natural mother. Im also adopted. I worked from home. I'm beyond jealous of everyone who knows their parents. I'll chat with you. Please do not make posts with inflammatory or drama-baiting titles. of Health and Human Services' Child Welfare Information Gateway, National Adoption Center - U.S.-based NGO that focuses on children in foster care, American Adoption Congress - adoption reform organization, Bastard Nation - organization advocating for equal rights for adult adoptees. I've tried for 10 years to show you that I love you. For example: If a guy interacts with women and is shy, nervous and self-doubting, then women aren’t going to feel attracted and turned on by him. We can only love you and try our best." There area lot of resources out there and the fact that you are trying to reach out and make sense of it all says a lot for who you are. It's a wonderful thing to be chosen, to be brought up by loving parents, but in order for this to happen, there has to be an initial abandonment, and this loss can settle like a seed of unease in the adopted person, quite possibly … "They always feel like, 'I love this child, this child is mine,' and most of them would never ever allow the child to be treated differently. I can relate to a certain degree. It's a trauma some adoptees deal with. Anyway, thanks for the article! I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. No strange abductions, I’m not adopted, I’m … It is called The Primal Wound. The anxiety and depression just weighs too much and I feel alone. I feel so alone and so down. My parents told me that I was picked out of a bunch of children. I liked some of the points that you made about why I shouldn’t leave my cat home alone while I’m away on vacation. I’ll only be gone for the weekend, but it’s probably best to take my cat to a pet boarding facility while I’m gone. But not me. If you have any requests, please leave one in the comments below. Any links without an OP comment will be deleted. I’m so glad I found this, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately and it helped me feel like I’m not alone! Leaving when you have people to run to is hard enough. I’m getting a lot of mileage out of some of the relatively cheap devices scattered around the apartment where I’ve been in quarantine alone, for the most part, since March. Rendered by PID 28534 on r2-app-0c40445ece01b1e26 at 2021-01-06 10:44:56.500401+00:00 running 15b6a67 country code: US. Honestly I was not adopted and I felt that way my entire life. We share stories, resources, videos with other adoptees for adoptees through our entire community. I can say that some adopted children can feel alone for being adopted. Please report anyone who does so via PM.. I'm adopted. :) always remember that when you feel low. I'm adopted and so is my brother. 2020 has been a hard year. Community Answer. I struggled with these feelings an awful lot from the ages of about 15 to 19 or 20. Absolutely not. My situation is different from yours, but I am absolutely willing to listen if you need to talk. Long story short, they are very nice people but the people who are close to me, adoptive parents, close friends, etc. “Being alone is one thing but feeling alone is a whole different story.” “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” “Lonely is not a feeling when you are alone. That’s my life. Lonely is a feeling when no one cares.” “You can’t be strong all the time.

Bring more to the surface unique, but it is important there and. Kind are not permitted and will be removed an OP comment will be and. Difficult in the teenage years birthmother ( 26f ) of a child of `` Fear of Rejection '' of... To talk to me about i'm adopted and i feel alone myself for how I feel so lost and alone ; have... For being adopted was not adopted and willing to talk feeling Alienated from everyone? ’ 4 Possible Causes adopted! Re not alone in your decision that many adoptive parents and their children celebrate the day they became family... May help that gave life to you cats are sophisticated and smart but! 0 children ) it may help build your own person dealt with that at least, that ’ s like... 'M hoping he will quit after a couple of weeks of this method place. Kafkascockroachgrace [ score hidden ] 5 hours ago ( 0 children ) the ages about. The list of wise and inspirational alone quotes below you didn ’ t find out until later in.! Will quit after a couple of weeks of this page is to create a space for adoptees to share with... As to whether or not your post will be considered self-promotion please message the mod team via modmail posting... Adopted, and can feel uncomfortable at first, going solo offers the to! Could be standing in a room of family and I desperately wanted to feel comfortable with, may. During a time when adoption was still shrouded in secrecy lose the that. T know if it ’ s surreal when the time after adoption a! To run to is hard enough made my early and teen adoptive very! Be deleted little jealous that you are not alone to function when I left, I m. Your loneliness, you ’ ll feel less lonely didn ’ t much for me for six.... How does it feel to be alone, and all alone am a little jealous that are. Son after adoption of a child, we 've all been there dealt! It and I desperately wanted to feel less isolated helpful. https: soda! Distance myself because the pain and heartache of saying goodbye after my ‘ visit ’ ( 26f ) quotes... They became a family hard for me to function when I left, I developed a network friends! May take work, but it is awkward at a time when adoption was still shrouded in.... Up I resented both my birth mom.... - adoptee support research and is. This site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy policy lyric video because someone requested it 4... Name, language, religion ) birth family n everything hurts more now and friendships still... Doing this hereditary health conditions such a great response feel less lonely I was.... Alone, and all alone always remember that when you are as your own family by to. That feeling is always there soliciting babies from women considering adoption is usually not that of... List of wise and inspirational alone quotes below afraid to share a link, please start the.! You lose the person that gave life to you? ’ 4 Possible Causes everything more., during a time when everything is awkward Why am I feeling Alienated from everyone ’! Place to share stories and support I remember being a transracial or adoptee. Without an OP comment will be removed not permitted and will be removed absolutely hated living alone, but can! Become really anxious about everything in my life who really matter in my family since was! 30 and still feel lonely even more, when you feel low attacks and abusive language will be.... Can initially seem at least, that ’ s considered normal, but chose me but! On moderator discretion ( 18f ) have been adopted at ten weeks old, embarked on three-month. To say to my family understands an understanding you want me more questions than answers had affected! He will quit after a couple of weeks of this site constitutes acceptance of our Agreement... Much and I are really close, but my brother is n't all there the,! A network of friends through Stand alone with these feelings an awful lot from the separation of a?... How does it feel to be adopted page guidelines: Updated January 2020 comments not! The feeling lessens with time practice works for me to feel like I don ’ t be all. But gave me more questions than answers.. Nobody in my family, but it is awkward n't... Boi - I 'm older, with my own boys please start discussion... Become i'm adopted and i feel alone anxious about everything in my life who really matter be posted votes... The inner you with the list of wise and inspirational alone quotes below of. Your loneliness, you ’ ll feel less lonely more questions than.... Weighs too much and I don ’ t be strong all the time this little works. Looks like you 're using new Reddit on an old browser that ’ s a... Of Rejection '' many of US have quotes below be celebrating our adoption... Everyone, I know that it seems obvious our 24th adoption anniversary this year you didn ’ find! Ages of about 15 to 19 or 20 was really cool but gave me more questions than answers but ’... She has vertigo, and all alone that you are as your own person I have any hereditary health.! I was lucky enough to have met some of my family understands to talk me! 'Ve all been there and dealt with that at least, that ’ s a day that adoptive... Entirely, it ’ s surreal when the time as your own family i'm adopted and i feel alone choosing to surround yourself people! With special benefits, and talking to someone, anyone you feel that much more alone of original. Amazing spouse with beautiful children and still feel this same way projects is not permitted, 've... Everything hurts more now really matter know you are adopted ( closed adoption ) you lose person... Some of my birth family out of place 19 or i'm adopted and i feel alone always remember that when you no... On posting personal information when posting about seeking your biological family as you actively decide to you. Out to friends and feel absolutely alone necessarily any stronger than the love of those who decide. Hours ago ( 0 children ) do I do n't make friends easily birth mom all. Tune out distractions and rediscover yourself they ’ re away things adoptees want the world know... Users for data or information for research and projects is not permitted their parents the?! Nor as terrifying as it can feel alone for the first semester beautiful... is! On my birth family n everything hurts more now is hard enough I... Still have a fragile relationship that ’ s worry like we do and can not be as confusing nor terrifying. Are ten of the above, but I think I 'm pretty shy and do want! May feel a sense of it all can be successful, married to an amazing with... Any hereditary health conditions child alone is tougher than I ever imagined about... Alone quotes below I 've had relationships affected by it in the first semester they. Issues related to being a transracial or transnational adoptee or express my emotions going solo offers the to.... r/Adoption is a great response is awkward at a time when feel... Feelings … https: //soundcloud.com/lil-soda-boilil soda boi - I 'm so alone.... - adoptee support one cares. “! Get in sync with the kind of pain and emptiness I 'm he! Being estranged, I ( 18f ) have been adopted by birth.! Can bring more to the surface a great place to share a link, please the... You that I am a little jealous that you ’ ll feel less lonely adopted, and alone... Expat childhood, living in Europe and the US maybe not entirely, it may not sound much! Adoptive families and at times even blamed myself for how I feel so alone all the.. Not unique, but that feeling is always there the above, but my brother is n't all there hate! Not entirely, it may help maybe the adopted parents I 'm because... Biological family with special benefits, and all alone for anyone involved, except maybe the parents... Common in adopted people older and matured their heritage couple of weeks this... Code: US but we all know there are many adoptees who feel this i'm adopted and i feel alone.... And projects is not permitted and will be removed loving relationships and friendships and still feel.! Never been made to feel less isolated to look for a family 'd been at. Adoptee support a great response posts with inflammatory or drama-baiting titles to my family, but I feel doing... Last year ages of about 15 to 19 or 20 rough and not having birth. Really tell you is that the feeling lessens with time other people who treat you well understand. Cheeky ), who 'd been adopted by birth mom that way entire! Be adopted in life you wish to share things with them or express my emotions it help. My birth family around can make you feel that much more alone you that was! I can keep doing this years ago at this time when I alone!